Wednesday, September 12, 2012


It's been hard to find good solid friends since moving to the Atlanta area.  It's hard to replace friendships that have endured the test of time and personal growth already.

Maybe it's my age.  I think most women my age who have lived here any length of time have already established friendships and aren't really looking for "new" ones.

My professional doesn't help.  While I do form wonderful bonds with the young mothers under my care, that season of their life passes by and we don't really see each other anymore.  Plus they are just in a different season period.  They are busy raising their young families.  And the fact that I am in a private practice doesn't lend itself to office friendships.  And the fact that midwifery can be all consuming and doesn't leave much time for many other interests?

We also got spoiled by our awesome home church situation in south Georgia.  Hard to replace that with mega churches, home groups that are already "full" and smaller churches with lots of "programs" and routines, both of which make me want to run in the other direction.

Tried to participate in a Beth Moore women's Bible study last year and while the discussion in the group was really good, the women were not warm and fuzzy.  After the class time they would grab pocketbooks and run.  I could  never catch one to invite her to coffee or lunch afterwards.  No one seemed to care about me as a person.  Epic fail.  I have looked for another similar study but haven't found one.

Joined the YMCA hoping I might be able to participate in some exercise classes there and meet people but so far my own attendance has been pretty spotty due to work and family activities.

I have attended several mega church worship services and have loved the excellence in the worship and teaching but I'm well aware that the real life of a church is not in those things but in small groups where you really get to connect and know others well.  I have tried to find home groups meeting in our area only to find they are maxed out and not accepting new members.  No, really.  Foreign concept isn't it?

Our neighborhood has an association that has frequent covered dish dinners and I thought that might provide some opportunities to meet people but I would have to go alone because my husband has absolutely no interest in attending.  I might just do that anyway.

I have one friend up here that I've known for many many years but she doesn't live super close.  We have tried to get together on Saturdays for activities but between her job, my job and grandchildren, we haven't been able to make that happen as often as I would like.

I love my daughters and really enjoy spending time with them.  I enjoy our conversations and they are the kind of people I like hanging with.  Godly young women, interesting, funny, honest, intelligent, etc.  I DO consider them to be friends.  It's one of the reasons I make time to see them frequently.

But I think I may borrow a phrase from Anne of Green Gables.

I'm just looking for one good friend.  OK, maybe two? :)  A kindred spirit.  I'm really hoping that Anne was right when she said, "Kindred spirits are not so scarce as I used to think. It's splendid to find out there are so many of them in the world.” 

Lord, help me to know where to look and to recognize them when they come along.


Stephanie said...

It seems like at any age, we go through ebbs and flows considering friendships, because we are in the same phase. Making friends is so hard! and it seems the hardest to do in church settings...something definitely wrong with that! And not accepting new people? wow....

I am rereading Anne of Green Gables right now, and I love that line. Praying you find some kindred spirits! :)

The Nealey's said...

I have to agree with Stephanie. I feel llike I am going through the same situation. At my age most of the ladies I know already have children, I don't. They are often getting together for playdates and I can't really offer that. Then it seems like the people I can get with aren't married and always have "free" time when I don't. You have done much better than I have. I haven't really tried to go out much. It's extremely hard when I just want to stay home when I can. I know though I won't meet a friend staying at home, or even while I'm grocery shopping, so I need to make more effort to go to more functions. Some how though I just long for the relationships I already have, but all those are "far" away :( Praying you find some close friends. What part are you in? I know several awesome ladies that way!! Maybe I can get you connected for a coffee?!! P.S. Maybe you'll have to pull a Ms. Noethe "I'll pay you to be my friend." lol! I still remember that story..I've considered it myself :)

PSIrwin said...

Hi sister,
We go to a Calvary Chapel here in Chattanooga and it looks like there are 3 in the Atlanta area. Ours is steadily growing though I would NOT call is a mega church...3 weekend services (and about to add a 4th) but a TOTAL attendance of about 1,500. Small groups are a focus and it is simply a "Bible teaching" church. More "modern" worship type music in general. See if there is one near you and check it out!

Jennifer said...

I think post college age, it's extremely hard. For our adolescent years we spend out time surrounded by people that are going through exactly what we are. Then we go into the "real" world and everyone is of different age, stage of life, etc and we are all busying "doing life" that it gets hard!! We have been in this area since of November of 06 and just recently did I begin to feel like I have REAL friends. I stay busy and plan lots of play dates but sometimes the only thing we have in common is the fact that we have kids. I have some closer friends now, but not sure that I could say I have any real kindred spirits... Praying you find some friends soon! As a women, it's very important!